I've been thinking about this moment for awhile. The moment when I let go of my first precious one and send him off into the world. Of course it's not forever. It's only for a few hours; 6 hours and 25 mins to be exact.
I've kept him as long as his exuberant spirit would let me. Adasen is made to be around others. For things like saying hi to random people walking by. Things like asking random people if they're okay because they coughed. Things like holding the door open for the next twenty people after me. These are the things Adasen is made for.
I've prepped him, guided him, corrected him, punished him, encouraged him, held him, and tried to teach him the best I could. Will he be ready for every situation that arises at school? No. Will he always be polite and kind? Probably not, but I hope he always remembers that there is someone waiting at home to give him a huge hug and smooch no matter what the day has brought him. I hope he knows that his God is always with him and he shouldn't be scared.
Some of his innocence will be shaved away as he enters 'the real world'. Some of his soft spots will be hardened, but we all must go through this process. Finding our way in this world will a lot of help from the people around us.
I keep thinking that maybe I should have continued homeschooling him. Maybe he's not ready yet. Maybe I haven't taught him the key things he needs to know. Maybe I haven't given him enough smooches or told him I love him enough. But you know what else I keep remembering? Psalm 127: 3-5, "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in ones youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their components in court."
Children aren't something to keep to ourselves. Are arrows meant to be kept in the quiver? No, arrows are meant for shooting out, away from us for their intended purpose. We as parents all make our own decision on when we 'shoot them out' and sometimes we might change our minds and decide homeschooling is the best option for us. Our family is going into this school year openmindedly. I pray every night that this is the right decision for Adasen. He's not old enough to make his own decision about this, it's up to us. For me it's been a very weighted decision and honestly I'm still not quite sure what the right answer is.
For now I'm shooting my outgoing little arrow into this world. He'll still come back to me every night. He might have changed a bit but he'll still be mine. One day he'll leave for good and I hope that all the decisions that Zach and I have made for him will have been for his betterment. I pray that he has been blessed by the experiences that we have chosen for him.
Be blessed my shooting star, be blessed.
Ashley
