I'm A Bad Parent

How many times have you thought,  "I'm a bad parent." I've thought it a lot. I'm constantly critiquing myself in all that I do, so obviously it has carried over into parenting as well. I think this is healthy; to step back and make sure you're doing things right or maybe realize you need to work on certain areas of your parenting.

These last two weeks have been monstrous to say the least. I mean I really don't like to complain, but I felt at times like I didn't know how I could possibly make it to bedtime. I was terribly sick (ear infection, sinus infection, and strep throat) and I had three kids to keep alive and happy, all while my husband was out to sea. On top of my sickness my 6 month old decided she would wake up every two hours, every.single.night. There were many days when I thought, "I am a bad parent."

I just made my kids watch TV all day so that I could be still, I'm a bad parent. We had baked potatoes for 3 nights in a row, I'm a bad parent. The boys had ramen noodles more often this week than they usually do in 2 months, I'm a bad parent. I yelled at Owen because he just keeps yelling and it makes every ounce of me hurt, I'm a bad parent. I made Adasen sit on the floor in my room and play with Opal while I tried to get a bit more sleep with a pillow over my head, I'm a bad parent. 

With each of these moments and many, many more I just felt defeated as a mom. Like I just wasn't up to par, but you know what I realized? That's completely okay, because His grace is sufficient for me. Even in my parenting abilities His grace is sufficient for me.

"For He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I realized that for everything I was feeling bad about there was something good I had done also. I still let Owen help 'make' dinner by washing off the potatoes,  because he loves to help me. I still let the boys jump out of the tub when I put their Spiderman towel on them, because they think it's the most fun thing ever. I still read Owen the book he wanted me to read three times,  even though my throat was killing me. I still sat and rocked my baby girl and sang to her at 3 am even though I felt like I couldn't keep my eyes open a second longer. For everything that I thought I was doing so badly there was still something good that I was doing too. And that's all because His grace is sufficient for me.

Even though I have my bad mom moments He gives me the grace to pick that up and start over. He let's me try again and again, because He is so merciful. 

If you're struggling with the thought that your a bad parent just remember,  His grace is sufficient for all of us. Maybe you didn't have your best parenting day, but you know what, dust yourself off and think of the good things you have done today. And for all those bad moments, His grace has got you covered,  just try to do better next time. He still loves you and so do your babies.

Ashley