There are few things in my life that have actually been life changing. I really don't consider when I got married or when I had kids life changing, because they both felt so natural, like they came easily to me. When I think of something life changing it's something that you have to work at, learn how to deal with it, and try to understand how to go on with this new thing (good or bad) in your life.
When I was younger I was faced with a couple of life changing events. These events caused me to become super independent and I learned to rely only on myself (not always a good thing). When I met Zachary and we began to fall in love, this too was life changing. I had to figure out a way to be less independent, to let my walls come crumbling down. So, in my lifetime I had had only a couple of life changing events, until Zach left for the Navy.
I didn't think this event would be life changing, but boy was I wrong. I had become so dependent on Zach because I had let my walls fall down for him completely(which is a good thing!). Now it felt like I was having to rebuild some of those walls. I had spoken to Zach every single day for the past eight years; when he left for bootcamp there was no contact whatsoever. I never realized just how much Zach telling me he loved me everyday meant. I had taken it for granted, that's for sure. When I wasn't able to hear him say it everyday I started doubting it and wondering if his love for me was changing since everything else was changing for him and I was stuck in our 'old' life. I knew my love for him was growing stronger because I missed him so much. I had to learn to trust that our love was still as vibrant as the day we said goodbye and had our last kiss for awhile.
I had to learn how to coupe with everyday things on my own, whereas for the past four years we had attacked this parent thing together. It's the simple moments that I learned made the biggest difference in each day, because he was there to help. I had to learn to rely on myself again, and to be honest, I hated this part the most.
It took me years to adjust to living life with Zach. I had to learn to let go and rely on him and not be so independent. So when he wasn't here I felt like I was moving backwards. Like I was learning to be independent again. I didn't realize just how much I depended on Zach until he was out of the picture 24/7. I feel like he is literally my heartbeat. He is my everything, and learning to live without him, for now, was gut wrenching.
Now I get to see him and talk to him, and I get to start the process all over again. Learning to not be so independent, again. I feel like I was just getting to a good point with it and now it's time to change again.
I never realized just how difficult this whole military thing is when you have a family and kids. It is literally life changing. So I'm sorry to all my friends who I didn't support enough while your spouses were away from you. I think it's just one of those things in life you'll just never understand unless you've actually been through it. So, please pray for everyone serving in our military and their families back home that are going through life changing moments constantly.
God has given me the strength to go on while Zach has been away, and I want to share that with everyone I can. Sometimes when you have no strength left He blesses you with just enough to make it through.
♥
Ashley
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Perception IS Everything
Tonight I was discussing the appropriateness of something and the other person said, "Well, it doesn't matter how other people perceive it as long as we have good intentions." I didn't know really what to say, because I've always thought that as a Christian the way other people perceive me is crucial to the way I am sowing the seed of the Kingdom of God.
The definition of perceive is, "to grasp mentally, take note (of); observe." ((Webster)) So as we go about our daily walk with God shouldn't we be doing things that make other people 'take note' of God, not question whether we are a Christian or not.
God tells us in Matthew 5:16, "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."
We want our lights, our faith, to shine in everything we do here on this Earth, not just when we are verbally testifying to others. We should be striving for the people around us to be perceiving us as light. That's the only way we will be able to share the Good News with them.
If I know something is questionable in the way it could be perceived, does that mean I go ahead and do it because my intentions are pure, they just might not be perceived as pure, but that's not my fault. Surely not! Let us always strive to do good and be perceived as light in this dark world. Let's not ride the fence of good and evil, and just hope we're perceived as good. Let us glorify God in all that we do and let the perception that we give off to others be that of love and of forgiveness; but mainly just let them observe (perceive) the Son reflecting through us.
♥
Ashley
The definition of perceive is, "to grasp mentally, take note (of); observe." ((Webster)) So as we go about our daily walk with God shouldn't we be doing things that make other people 'take note' of God, not question whether we are a Christian or not.
God tells us in Matthew 5:16, "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."
We want our lights, our faith, to shine in everything we do here on this Earth, not just when we are verbally testifying to others. We should be striving for the people around us to be perceiving us as light. That's the only way we will be able to share the Good News with them.
If I know something is questionable in the way it could be perceived, does that mean I go ahead and do it because my intentions are pure, they just might not be perceived as pure, but that's not my fault. Surely not! Let us always strive to do good and be perceived as light in this dark world. Let's not ride the fence of good and evil, and just hope we're perceived as good. Let us glorify God in all that we do and let the perception that we give off to others be that of love and of forgiveness; but mainly just let them observe (perceive) the Son reflecting through us.
♥
Ashley
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Who Invented That?!
Today, I was watching a show on the Qubo channel with Adasen and they were traveling back in time to visit some of the great inventors of history.
They found the inventors for the lightbulb, the telephone, electricity, etc etc. This got me thinking about our bodies. Who 'invented' our bodies??
When anyone looks at a radio they know that someone in the past invented it. No one would question that or even think that some time in the past the pieces of metal somehow randomly formed the radio by themselves. Someone had to come up with the idea and then figure out what materials they needed to put together to make a music playing device. But when some people look at our bodies they don't say 'who invented this?' Isn't that just plain old common sense to ask who invented this super detailed body??
Who invented my eyeball so that I am able to see the world around me and allow me to see all the colors of the spectrum? Anyone would agree that the contacts you put in your eyeballs or the glasses you put on your nose were invented by someone to help us see better. So, why would we not ask, who invented the eyeball? Someone surely did with all the tiny parts that work together to allow us to see the world.
I think since doctors and scientist can't find all the functions of our bodies and how to cure them; they will always think no one was, or is, smart enough to have 'invented' us. I just want them to meet my all-powerful, almighty God. He's the only one smart enough to 'invent' our bodies here on earth. I just want them to spend one day with Him. Then they will understand that there was a Great Inventor at the beginning of time, and His name was and still is Jehovah God.
♥
Ashley
They found the inventors for the lightbulb, the telephone, electricity, etc etc. This got me thinking about our bodies. Who 'invented' our bodies??
When anyone looks at a radio they know that someone in the past invented it. No one would question that or even think that some time in the past the pieces of metal somehow randomly formed the radio by themselves. Someone had to come up with the idea and then figure out what materials they needed to put together to make a music playing device. But when some people look at our bodies they don't say 'who invented this?' Isn't that just plain old common sense to ask who invented this super detailed body??
Who invented my eyeball so that I am able to see the world around me and allow me to see all the colors of the spectrum? Anyone would agree that the contacts you put in your eyeballs or the glasses you put on your nose were invented by someone to help us see better. So, why would we not ask, who invented the eyeball? Someone surely did with all the tiny parts that work together to allow us to see the world.
I think since doctors and scientist can't find all the functions of our bodies and how to cure them; they will always think no one was, or is, smart enough to have 'invented' us. I just want them to meet my all-powerful, almighty God. He's the only one smart enough to 'invent' our bodies here on earth. I just want them to spend one day with Him. Then they will understand that there was a Great Inventor at the beginning of time, and His name was and still is Jehovah God.
♥
Ashley
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Grudgingly
I mess up as a Mom so many times per day it's not even funny! But, there is one thing I have done right that I can see shaping Adasen's heart already, so I wanted to share. Please, please note though that we are definitely not perfect and never will be.
Yesterday, while in the car Adasen asked me for a dollar. He just kept holding it and staring out the window, so I asked him what he needed that dollar for. He said,"I saw a lady that needed some money back there so on our way back I'm going to give it to her." I almost cried, but it was funny too because she was holding a sign for a pizza place, not homeless. :o) But it really showed me that even if that's all I get right in this parenting thing I'll be okay.
You see, every time we see a homeless person or someone asking for money we always stop to give them something and I let Adasen or Owen hand them the money or whatever we happen to have that day.
I've heard a lot of people say, oh they'll just use it on booze. Which is probably true, but I also know I'm not giving them my life savings, I'm just give them 10 bucks.
I used to think the same thing too, but I never knew what to do because I felt like I needed to be doing something. In 2 Cor. 9:7 it says to give, without grudging. I feel like back then I was holding a grudge against these people standing at corners, because 'they'll just spend it on booze anyway.' Thats a grudge. I just need to have the heart of giving and not worry about what the outcome is. Maybe it will be for booze but maybe it'll be for some diapers or formula, you just never know and that is OKAY!! After you've given without grudging you've done your part, don't even think about how they'll use it, that's between Him and that person.
So, I urge you fellow parents, to bring you kids up with a giving heart. Giving, hearts that give: money, time, clothes, toys, and most importantly love. That's really what you're showing that person, love.
♥ Ashley
Yesterday, while in the car Adasen asked me for a dollar. He just kept holding it and staring out the window, so I asked him what he needed that dollar for. He said,"I saw a lady that needed some money back there so on our way back I'm going to give it to her." I almost cried, but it was funny too because she was holding a sign for a pizza place, not homeless. :o) But it really showed me that even if that's all I get right in this parenting thing I'll be okay.
You see, every time we see a homeless person or someone asking for money we always stop to give them something and I let Adasen or Owen hand them the money or whatever we happen to have that day.
I've heard a lot of people say, oh they'll just use it on booze. Which is probably true, but I also know I'm not giving them my life savings, I'm just give them 10 bucks.
I used to think the same thing too, but I never knew what to do because I felt like I needed to be doing something. In 2 Cor. 9:7 it says to give, without grudging. I feel like back then I was holding a grudge against these people standing at corners, because 'they'll just spend it on booze anyway.' Thats a grudge. I just need to have the heart of giving and not worry about what the outcome is. Maybe it will be for booze but maybe it'll be for some diapers or formula, you just never know and that is OKAY!! After you've given without grudging you've done your part, don't even think about how they'll use it, that's between Him and that person.
So, I urge you fellow parents, to bring you kids up with a giving heart. Giving, hearts that give: money, time, clothes, toys, and most importantly love. That's really what you're showing that person, love.
♥ Ashley
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
No, Listen To This...
Tonight, in my three year old Bible class one of the kids brought up the fact that she got an 'ouchie' and she wanted me to look at it. Just as soon as she had said it the others 5 kids started in at the exact same time, 'no, look at mine.' 'I got this while...' 'Look at what I did last week.' 'Well, look at mine, it's bigger.' I just sat there listening and thought, isn't this how we all are still as adults? And it is.
I notice a lot that when someone is telling us about their children that someone will pipe up with the, 'well my kid did this...' I actually find this super annoying. Someone is trying to tell you a story that had a meaning and then it gets interrupted by someone trying to get attention. Who cares who's getting the most 'attention.' You will definitely get the person who is telling you that stories attention if you simply listen to them. They will notice that you have respect and an attention span and that you are a great listener.
So, this week if you catch yourself interrupting with a 'well listen to me story' just stop and put your listening ears on. :o)
♥
Ashley
I notice a lot that when someone is telling us about their children that someone will pipe up with the, 'well my kid did this...' I actually find this super annoying. Someone is trying to tell you a story that had a meaning and then it gets interrupted by someone trying to get attention. Who cares who's getting the most 'attention.' You will definitely get the person who is telling you that stories attention if you simply listen to them. They will notice that you have respect and an attention span and that you are a great listener.
So, this week if you catch yourself interrupting with a 'well listen to me story' just stop and put your listening ears on. :o)
♥
Ashley
Friday, August 17, 2012
Me, a pack-rat?! Never!
Growing up I lived with a Dad who hated to throw things away. There were stacks of papers that were never to be looked at again(most likely), piles in the garage of things we "needed", and just random things brought home because they were on sale.
Well, I did get the gene to get things because they are on sale (not gallons of salad dressing though!!), but I think the pack-rat part of my Dad made me the complete opposite! I love to throw things out. Haha. That sounded weird when I typed that, but I do!!
Zach and I will be moving, probably, within the next few months so I decided to start going through our home room by room and just throwing out (not necessarily in the garbage, but out of our home) as much as I possibly can. I usually find this trait good, but sometimes I look back like what was I thinking?! That was something sentimental or that was something important. But really I shouldn't worry about throwing stuff away, that is all that it is...stuff. I don't even like that word, let alone 'stuff' collecting in my home, yuck!
So just remember this world is not our home and neither is our stuff!
♥ Ashley
Well, I did get the gene to get things because they are on sale (not gallons of salad dressing though!!), but I think the pack-rat part of my Dad made me the complete opposite! I love to throw things out. Haha. That sounded weird when I typed that, but I do!!
Zach and I will be moving, probably, within the next few months so I decided to start going through our home room by room and just throwing out (not necessarily in the garbage, but out of our home) as much as I possibly can. I usually find this trait good, but sometimes I look back like what was I thinking?! That was something sentimental or that was something important. But really I shouldn't worry about throwing stuff away, that is all that it is...stuff. I don't even like that word, let alone 'stuff' collecting in my home, yuck!
So just remember this world is not our home and neither is our stuff!
♥ Ashley
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Stay-at-Home Momma
So, recently I've been struggling with the decision to work or to stay at home with my babes. I have been blessed to stay at home for the last three years, but our finances are catching up with us, especially my student loans. Yuck!
But God has clearly shown Zach and me that working full-time at this point in my kids lives is not what He wants me to do. Each time I say this though I feel like I'm putting myself up on a pedestal; like I'm better than Zach or whoever else would be with my children. I feel unworthy of this responsibility. I'm what's best for them right now?! Wow, I'm definitely not worthy of that title...
These thoughts have been causing me to second guess myself and God's answers to my prayers. He has put in my heart to stay at home with them, but I keep pulling away.
God, I'm so sorry that I have been second guessing Your plan for my life. I will see myself as worthy because that is how You see me. I will respect myself and my job as a stay-at-home mommy from now on. Thank you so much for these blessings in the form of children. I couldn't ask for more. Your plan is amazing.
♥ Ashley
But God has clearly shown Zach and me that working full-time at this point in my kids lives is not what He wants me to do. Each time I say this though I feel like I'm putting myself up on a pedestal; like I'm better than Zach or whoever else would be with my children. I feel unworthy of this responsibility. I'm what's best for them right now?! Wow, I'm definitely not worthy of that title...
These thoughts have been causing me to second guess myself and God's answers to my prayers. He has put in my heart to stay at home with them, but I keep pulling away.
God, I'm so sorry that I have been second guessing Your plan for my life. I will see myself as worthy because that is how You see me. I will respect myself and my job as a stay-at-home mommy from now on. Thank you so much for these blessings in the form of children. I couldn't ask for more. Your plan is amazing.
♥ Ashley
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